Winter Blues

As it gets darker earlier and mother natures breath gets more chilling, I wonder if I would feel more content somewhere else. Possibly a beach paradise, fruity drink in hand- swaying on a hammock in the warm breeze. Maybe a tropical rain forest, laying under a thatched roof and mosquito net counting the tree frogs. I could even go for a desert like climate; riding a horse while gazing at the hues of oranges and browns in a sunset over the badlands. Just anywhere other than here...

Instead, my alarm goes off, I roll out of bed and stick my cold tootsies in my slippers and reluctantly let the pups out in the cold- watching my breath curl, coil, and dance in front of me as I quickly try to shut the door behind them. I reluctantly shower, put my work clothes on (something that other than jeans or sweats and a Tee) and roll into work... all while thinking how trying it is to shape America's youth. By the time "winter" break arrives, you can see the desperation in your coworker's eyes: "Please God, just get me through one more week without having a mental breakdown"

Despite the deadlines for grades, the meetings about at risk students, the parent contacts, creating of lessons, whining students, flu epidemics, IEP meetings, unannounced observations, server meltdowns and the occasional bloody finger "can I have a band aid?!" urgency- it's not all so bad. It may be cold outside, but I'll wear a scarf. It may get dark early, but I'll find a way to enjoy it. It is a pain to bring home work every night or to do the dance of educational hooplah before even being able to think about actually teaching, but I'll get it all done anyway.

But really, if I didn't feel the winters cold, I wouldn't revel in the warmth of the summer heat. If I didn't know what the landscape looked like in the doldrums of winter, I wouldn't appreciate the greenery and blossoms of the spring. If I didn't have to work quite so hard at teaching, I wouldn't love what I do quite so much. You can't do right without knowing wrong, or see darkness without knowing light- so why should I make things so complicated for myself in wishing I was elsewhere?

I guess for now I will keep my dreams of being elsewhere neatly stashed away in my back pocket to revisit in my dreams. Traveling the world and experiencing new things will just have to wait a while. Besides, I have important work to do. So I will drag myself out of bed everyday and face the cold. I will find beauty in the little things, even a barren tree. And eventually, I will get to that beach, hear those tree frogs, and see that sunset.